What Makes Blue Monkeys Blue.

Tuesdays and Thursdays are soccer days for all of this summer of Aught-Four. It always seems to be a rush to get home, get the Boy, get the Boy's supper, get the Boy kitted out and ultimately to get us to the pitch on time. Yesterday I caved in to his request to get supper from the pizza man, and so while I was paying for our supper at the door, I had asked the Boy to get his jersey, shorts, boots, socks and shin pads so we could get away faster and not be late. He got his jersey and his socks, but he couldn't find his shorts. I figured that they were downstairs in the dryer and asked him to go and get them.

He flat refused.

So the power struggle was on.

Me: If you don't go and get your shorts, we're not going to soccer tonight.

Boy: Well, if we don't go to soccer, I'm not going to try to score any goals.

I had to reflect a moment on that. Although an interesting fault of logic, it was too cumbersome to explain for a parent in a hurry.

You should know that the Boy's team is called the Blue Monkeys. Their jersey colour is a deep blue with white trim, "Tim Hortons" on the front, the Boy has number 11 on the back. When suggestions for team names were called for at their inaugural practice, his idea was the Blue Sharks (because sharks are fast!). Most of the other kids thought it was a great name, but the coach's son issued his minority report and the name Blue Monkeys was subsequently adopted. At that first practice (which was really a "fiesta" - an all-day event of drills, pictures, lunch  and crafts) the Boychild was the first player on either side to score, an auspicious beginning auguring a great season.

Well, the Monkeys lost that game 5-2, and it's been one of the closer scores of the season which has so far featured scores of 9-0, 8-0, 11-2 and a host of other consistently lopsided affairs. The Boy has scored two more goals, grand achievements when a good game is one where the Monkeys aren't shut out. At last night's game as the Boy sat his turn on the sidelines, the Blue Monkeys had a breakaway. In fact, it was a breakaway on an empty net. In fact, it was a five-on-zero breakaway to an empty net.

They didn't score.

The ball was dribbled almost the entire way down the field with only five blue shirts around it, no goalie, no defense and the ball was put into touch, slowly, wide by at least five yards. It was almost the perfect encapsulation of the Blue Monkey's season. The final score was 5-1 ... since the other coach was holding his team back.

On the way home, a small little world-weary voice was heard from the back seat:

Boy (quietly): I don't think we're going to win the trophy this year.