Attitudinal Adjustment

Yesterday, I found an old diary on my computer from 2001 when my son was not yet two years old and prone to biting his mother and father when cuddled. Times sure have changed. When school started we were forewarned and ready for the behavioural changes that come from being around gangs of kids all seemingly searching their peers for that lowest common denominator. Grade One Attitude, my wife calls it. A couple of recent examples:

The Boy and I are playing Hot Shots Golf Fore. There's a course in the game that's been laid out as if in an Asian Jungle. On the 16th hole, the fairway is interrupted by a giant statue of a reclining Buddha. You learn after only one try that you have to lay back with your tee shot, otherwise, you won't be able to get your approach shot over the statue, it's that big. I played first, picked about a five wood and laid up short in the fairway. The Boy didn't.

Me: You won't get over that statue, you're too close.

The Boy disagreed. I hit my shot over the statue and then it was the Boy's turn, me clucking and tsk-tsking about how he wasn't going to make it. The Boy hit and the ball shot through a tiny crease in the Buddha's neck, firing between his shoulder and jowl. The ball landed on the green.

Boy: How do you like that, Mr. I-Don't-Know-Everything?

Grade One Attitude. Now, I'll tell you about this other one, but I'll let you know it came with a sight gag when Mamma told the story to me. I'll try it anyway.

The last few days, the Boy has been very good sleeping through the night in his own bed, a reversal of a recent trend. During the weeks that he would trek over to get in bed with Mamma, she asked him why he didn't stay in his own room.

Boy: Because I wanted to cuddle with someone.

Mamma (referring to the stuffed animals in the Boy's bunk): Well, why don't you cuddle with Pierre or Teddy or Oochie?

The next night was the same; Boy comes over to sleep in Mamma's bed.

Mamma: Why won't you stay in your own bed at night?

Boy: Because I wanted to cuddle with someone (and here he cants his head sideways and turns up his nose) ... who's ALIVE.