A trove of lost quotes. So I better start writing the rest down before they're all gone.
This is a record of the strange, beautiful, wonderfully funny, bizarre observations of the world around us, comments uttered completely guileless by my four-year old son.
Catching up:
Me: I love you.Boy: I love you more.
Me: I love you to the farthest star and back.
Boy: I love you to empty space.
Me: It's not a contest....
From the restaurant:
Boy: Daddy, I'd like more to drink.
Me: Well, ask the waitress, sweetheart.
Boy (shyly): No. You.
Me: It's not hard. Just say "Excuse me, miss. Could you -" and then ask her for what you want.
Boy: Excuse me, miss. Could you take off your clothes?
(Fortunately asked before the waitress had returned.)
From the department store:
Boy: What are you going to do when we get home (question asked for the umpteenth time).
Me (exasperated but joking): Give you a kick in the bum.
Boy: What are you going to do when we get home and don't say kick in the bum.
Me: I'm going to give you two kicks in the bum.
Boy (proclaiming for all in the check-out line to hear): Next time you say kick in the bum, I'm going to kick you in the PENIS.
Me (after a pause to the red-faced and tittering check-out girl): Guess he told me.
At home:
I had to play bad guy and after several warnings sent the Boy to his room for not leaving Mummy alone when she was sick. Two minutes later (only two) I went up and got him and explained the reason for his little punishment. Following that with little sobs:
Boy:: Mommy's number one and you're number two. I love Mommy to the stars and back. I only love you to the sun.
In the car, returning from our Sunday golf game:
Boy: Daddy, what countries have I been?
Me: Well, you've been to Canada and the United States. You've been to Boston, Newfoundland, PEI, New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. You've been to Ottawa and to Montreal to see the Expos.
Boy: Where have you been?
Me: I've been to the same places you have. And I've been to Houston and Los Angeles and San Diego. Vancouver and Victoria. Toronto.
Boy: What countries have you not been?
Me (now picturing an atlas in my head): Oh, Poland, Brazil, none of the former Soviet Republics (this last with an inward grin), nothing in South America or Central America.
Boy: Have you been to England?
Me: No. Not to England or Ireland or Scotland or Wales.
Boy: Whales?
Me: I haven't been to Norway or Finland or Denmark or Sweden.
Boy: Where else have you been?
Me: I've been to France, though. And Germany and Austria. I've been to Greece and New York and Charlottesville, North Carolina and Cozumel, Mexico. I lived in Bermuda for three years.
Boy: Daddy, have you been to heaven?
Monday 19 July 2004:
Boy: "You're the worst Daddy ever." That one stung a lot.
Later that night going to bed you gave me a hug and a kiss and tweaked my nose.
Boy: "Are you happy now Daddy?"
Me: "Yes, Sweetheart. Now I'm happy."
Boy: "Yay! I made Daddy happy!"
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